Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
