i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
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