Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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