R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
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Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
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I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
my liver is dry heaving
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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