A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I forget how to act sober
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