fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
they need to just BURY HIM!
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously