Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?