Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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