If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize