I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize