if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
