Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I am full of burrito and curiosity
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Send help, water and tortillas.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
