the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Randomize
