after a month anything with tits is on the radar
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
