I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
