i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless