he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."