you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
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Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together