i just google imaged poop.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.