____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
