this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
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