OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
