I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize