I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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