I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
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Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
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Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.