We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Guys Hate When Girls Do These 29 Cringeworthy Things
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.