AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
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