I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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