I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize