I wish i was in the wii world.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize