Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
