grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
