nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
