yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
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