She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
