Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
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I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
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Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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