I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
