I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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