I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Barsexuality is the new black.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
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He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
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When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.