I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
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