It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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