That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
