All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
