Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
