You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i looked up. we had an audience...
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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