who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
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I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
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Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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