I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
