weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize