Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize