So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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