He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize
