I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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