Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
if only i could text you this smell
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Randomize
