I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
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He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
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Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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