Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize